I had a great weekend with my friend Selene, her family, and her room mates. On Monday I spent some time with them at their place in Mass, and we had fun hanging out. However, being an introvert I am exhausted. I really like spending time with my friends, but I think most writers will understand when I say that I really want to be home.
I think most writers are introverts, to be honest. Most of us prefer our own little worlds over participating in others. I know this is true with me. Whenever life was difficult when I was a kid (and that was a lot of the time) I retreated into the worlds I created and wrote stories. Whether I acted them out with my toys and dolls, played them out with my friends out in the woods, or wrote them out on my computer it’s all been the same. I do the same thing now, except it has strings attached to it.
I think that’s something we all start fighting with – when we start doing our art and our escape as a business. We want to write because we just want to write, but at the same time when we do so we become tied up in what our target market is, who we are writing for, whether or not it will sell… and it starts to lose its charm. It starts to lose its beauty. A writer whose book I worked on, Luke Reynolds, said a lot of good things in that book. And while I was helping edit it I remembered a great deal about what it was like to write before I started doing it as a business.
These days I am often so overwhelmed with my professional writing and editing that I don’t have the opportunity to really do much writing for myself. This is something I’m struggling with because time management has never been one of my skills. I’ve finally been able start getting up at a more reasonable time (for a long time I was on a bizarre third shift schedule) which means I have more time in the day. However, I’ve still been struggling to organize things.
One of the things about being a full time writer/editor is that I make my own schedule and answer only to myself and my clients. While this might seem like a dream job for a lot of people it’s a nightmare if you have trouble keeping yourself focused and organized. Also, if you have a dry spell your world becomes rather bleak and frustrating. For example, I’ve been struggling for the last week to write my daily Q&A. While I’ve managed it, it’s been impacting my quality a little. This means I fight with it and stress about it. Last night I spent about six hours trying to write 700 words and when I was done it was past my bedtime, and I passed out immediately. I forgot a few things while writing it, too.
Finding my stride in writing and in my newly busy editing and writing schedule is an adventure. Ultimately I think it’ll do me good and at least get me to organize my desk. Speaking of which I should probably get on that…