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I haven’t posted in a long time here and, to be honest, I’ve been really stuck on what to write. I’ve posted most of what I’d say to anyone on here already, if you read through the history of the blog. But I came across something recently that I figured I needed to speak on.

 

I’ve talked countless times about how query letters are important and how the way you sound in them is vital. I’ve recently been noticing how people try to make their query letters “pop” by including unnecessary fluff that just sounds self-important.

 

“A zany adventure about quirky characters in a world designed to dazzle!”

 

That kind of thing really annoys me. Partially because it’s very fake and it makes me pause and think, “Well… I do hate the word ‘zany’.” I think the best way to make your query stand out is to avoid things like that. It really doesn’t do anything for you. In fact, it really only works against you. You don’t want your query to sound like a movie poster. And, let’s be honest, if you describe your own characters as “zany” and that your world is designed to “dazzle” that makes me think that you are writing to be published, not writing because your heart demands it.

 

I suppose that’s a little contradictory to some of the other things I’ve said here. “But Beth, aren’t we trying to get published here?!” I’m sure that’s the case, but I don’t write what I do in order to try and publish it. I write because I’m a writer. It’s like breathing. Like Luke said in his book, “Keep Calm and Query On”, we write because we’re made to. That said, we can’t expect that everything we write is publishable or marketable. But I don’t write and read with the idea that I’m going to go to Hollywood.

 

This thought process isn’t exactly new, but it seems to be a new trend in query letters for authors to describe their work in “big” words. I don’t mean “big” as in long or requiring a dictionary; I mean big in terms of sensational — people trying to make their books seem like they’re the next Twilight (shoot me) or the next Harry Potter. The reality is that I’d rather read a query letter that focuses on the book and its story rather than trying to sensationalize it and make it all sparkle. You don’t need to guild the lily. If your writing is good it’ll show through on its own. While query letters (and, in truth, all emails to an editor, publisher or whomever) should be professional, don’t be afraid to be conversational. All these “sensational” words just make the query seem shallow and fake.

 

If you’re genuine… show it. Let us see it. Share with us the excitement, the tension, the hope. Don’t share “zany” queries with “quirky” hooks and a signature designed to “dazzle”.

 

Adverbs and Aggravation!

I was planning on doing a blog on writer’s block, and I ended up with it. I’m sure that there’s some irony in there somewhere. I haven’t been able to write everything in a couple months, now, and it’s starting to gnaw at me. Of course, my editing is going fine but when it comes to writing something myself I’ve got this gigantic, granite stone sitting on my creativity. It’s giggling at me right now as I try and write so we’ll see how far this goes.

Since writing about writer’s block seems to be a cursed exercise, I’m going to switch gears a little bit and write about my personal pet peeves regarding writing. I’ve got a lot of them, but some stick out more than others. Some of them are more a personal thing than others, some are just poor writing. While I’m certain that people will disagree with others, I hope that the majority of them help steer people away from making bad literary decisions.

One of the things that annoys me the worst in writing is overusing adverbs. While, unlike some authors, I don’t think they’re an enemy in their entirety, they can very easily be overused. It’s an unfortunate truth that many writers overuse them, too. An adverb can be appropriate in occasional use, but if your work is littered with them (do a search for “ly” and see how many hits you get in your writing) then you may wish to reconsider. Adverbs are, in my opinion, the lazy way out. While, granted, there are times when you don’t want to write a great deal of detail about something (“He slunk quietly down the hall.”) there are times when it cripples your description.

The problem with adverbs is that they are all “tell” and no “show.” I’m sure you’ve all heard me speak on the subject of “show” versus “tell” in the past so I won’t reiterate it to you. But it’s pretty clear that it is really the reason why adverbs are to be used with caution. Telling us that your protagonist (or any character) did something is nowhere near as evocative as you showing it to us and letting us feel and hear the heartbeat of your writing for ourselves.

The next thing that gets to me is the phrase “and then”. While the occasional use makes my hackles stand on end (due to being exposed to a judicial overuse of it), it’s the overuse of the phrase that makes me froth like a rabid chimpanzee. And probably make similar noises. (It’s a lucky thing I edit in a room by myself, eh?) It’s a very blase way of putting together a string of events, in my opinion: “He snickered and then sneezed.” While it certainly is functional, it is also redundant. You would be better off using either “and” or “then”. Using them together, most of the time, is inefficient (and I’m a big fan of writing being efficient). There are times when it is fully appropriate, but, again, do a search through your writing and see how many times it pops up. If it’s more than once (maybe occasionally twice) per page then consider snipping it out.

And, finally, we’re on to the biggest thing that makes me want to bite people in writing: overusing the thesaurus. I’ve found that the poor thesaurus is the most abused book I’ve ever seen. It should probably check itself into a battered books’ shelter and seek therapy. Over the course of my life of reading and writing I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as an exact synonym. You can come extremely close, of course, but you can never exactly substitute one word for another without changing small details in the reader’s mind. Out of this belief comes my voracious love of words. I devour them, sidle up next to them on cold nights and make inappropriate comments about “getting to know them better” and eventually seduce them into compliance. I will admit to the use of a thesaurus when I don’t exactly know the word for what I’m trying to say and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem with thesauruses is when someone uses them in an attempt to make their vocabulary “bigger” and “more impressive”. The best example of this is at one point I encountered someone who described a female character’s curves as “cantankerous”. I believe that her intent was to use “cantankerous” to mean “dangerous to approach”, in which case it’s almost acceptable. Unfortunately, the rest of the definitions have to do with being ill-tempered. So her character’s shapely body was very foul tempered. I performed an epic “facepalm” and tried to help the poor girl.

Now, the reason I mention this isn’t just because it’s a bit of a silly situation, but it’s because this kind of thing happens all the time. Writers often develop this mistaken belief that in order to get taken seriously they need to use large, impressive words. I often find that large, impressive words cloud meaning and can, in fact, be detrimental. Of course, I’m guilty of using what most people consider to be “large words,” but I grew up with parents that speak in such a way so it’s something that I have been attempting to unlearn in my writing. Using smaller, concrete words allows your writing to reach a broader audience. To be honest, the best description I have ever read was from Neil Gaiman: “(he) was the size, and shape, of a refrigerator.” This line, from American Gods, has stuck with me as one of the top examples of concrete description. The character, of course, had a little more information regarding hair color but in totality the manner, physical dimensions, and general feel of the character were brilliantly summed up in those few, short words. It didn’t require words that most Harvard graduates don’t know in order to paint a clear, beautiful picture.

I’m certain that I will come across other bits and pieces of writing to froth indignantly over, but at the moment those are the ones that strike me as the most vulgar. My opinion, of course, may change in the future, but keeping an eye out for those problems may prove of use to you.

I was going to write about writers block and then I got it. Oh, the irony. Like many writers, I’ve suffered writers block many times. In fact, I’ve been struggling with it in my personal writing for well over a year now. There are a hundred ways of handling writer’s block but honestly I think there are several types of writer’s block. I’m not sure I’m the authority on telling you how to fix them (since I’m about ready to throw my CPU against the wall and snarl at it viciously) but I might be able to give some suggestions.

The first type I’ll address is coming up with a plot idea. There are a lot of times where I’ll develop this lush setting and awesome characters in my head, but then what would I have them do? Sit around and twiddle their thumbs? The best suggestion I have, and one that you’ll probably be hearing a lot in this blog entry, is to read. When I can’t write, I read. And when I can’t do that anymore, I get someone to carry me. (Points to anyone who gets the reference.) All joking aside, that’s somewhat true – I’ll watch movies. I know, uncool points to me for watching movies rather than reading but hey, sometimes it gets me through a rough patch.

The second type is getting your plot from point A to point B. My usual response is to take my problem to a few, trusted friends. They don’t have to even be writers. I’ll pitch them my plot and then talk over the details. Sometimes I hit gold, sometimes I don’t. Sometimes (and I’m showing my true nerd colors here) I’ll turn it into a tabletop roleplaying scenario for all of us to play through. Sometimes I get ideas that way, too. Naturally, I never use their characters or stories without their permission (and I make sure I get it in writing first, otherwise it could be a liability).

A few general ideas for handling writers block (if you’re not a nerd) are also just setting the manuscript down and walking away, cussing, for a while. And read, read, read. I’ll be honest with you: since at this point I make my living reading I am often loathe to read in my off time. As such, my “to read” stack has been piling up and my writing has been getting less and less inspired. I’ve noticed that immediately after reading (or while I’m reading) my writing becomes stronger. It’s a pretty incredible phenomonon that I’m sure science could provide an explanation for this phenomenon but it’s something that is in every book about writing I’ve ever read (and I have a veritable library of books on the subject).

While I am certain that I will revisit this topic in the future (perhaps when I’m not suffering from it), I think this is about the best advice I can give you at the moment. If anyone has any suggestions, leave them down in the comments section.

In other news – I hope everyone had as fantastic a holiday as I did! A very belated Merry Christmas (and happy holidays) and happy New Year!

VBA

 

jiiiiiiiiiiiiku (My cat says hello by way of walking on the keys). Apparently Natasha McNeely has awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award! How kind of her. :) Thank you very much for sending this my way! It was very kind of her to send it to me! Now, apparently there are some rules regarding it and while I know this is usually a professional blog, I

figure a little fun around the holidays can’t hurt!

The rules of the Versatile Blogger Award state that I must:

Thank the person who gave it to me and link back to them in my blog.
Share seven things about myself.
Pass this award on to 5 other recently discovered blogs and let them know

I’m not sure about passing it on to other blogs, since I don’t read too many, but I can certainly share seven things about myself!

The first thing I’ll share is something I mentioned earlier: I’m a cat lover. The cat that so kindly (and in holiday spirit) said hello to you is one that I raised from when she was abandoned by her mother at two days old. She is now over a year old and is a feisty little monster. Her name is Chase (short for StormChaser) but we usually just call her “Monster”. I’ve had cats all my life and can’t imagine living in a home without them.

Next is the fact that I (like everyone else) am writing a book. A series of books, actually. My fiance and I are working together to write an urban fantasy series that really gets me excited to talk about though I won’t spoil the details here! The setting is in Boston, MA and it involves any number of supernatural creatures and should be an exciting ride for anybody that decides to step on.

The third, and final fact, is that I am late in writing this blog. No, I’m kidding. Sort of. The final fact is… jeez, I’m trying to come up with something useful here. Oh, I know! I made mint hot-cocoa cakes with marshmallow and buttercream frosting as Christmas gifts. I’m po’ so it’s the best I can do right now.

This blog isn’t obviously my usual fare but with Christmas being later this week, I’ve been crazy busy baking for the last two in order to keep up with the holiday. Whatever holiday that you and your family are celebrating this year, I hope you have a joyful one!

She knows when you are sleeping
She knows when you’re awake
And if her food bowl’s empty
Fill it for goodness’ sake!

The Gatekeepers and Fear

I was talking with a young writer I met this week and he told me that it’s gotten to the point where he genuinely doesn’t believe he can write anything that an acquisitions editor would want to read. I’ve tried to encourage him a bit, but it got me to thinking that that is probably a pretty common fear. I’ve actually met only two types of writers in my experiences: the egotist writer and the self-effacing uncertain writer.

Personally, I prefer the second one. The first one is the one you’ve heard me rant about ceaselessly as the type of individual who sends a query and then gets offended when we don’t appreciate his genius enough to ignore the fact that his sci/fi novel is written in haiku. The type of person that expects us to ignore the fact that his novel is full of typos and that my high school-aged sisters could come up with a better plot. The type of person that sends nasty emails in response to a rejection and tells us he’ll be looking down at us from atop the NYT Best Sellers list in a couple weeks. He’s also every editor and publisher’s worst nightmare.

The second type is so timid and shy they’re certain that no one will like their writing, that no one will read it, and when you actually read it (whether you reject it or not), they are so wildly grateful that they send you a heartfelt and genuine response. Often they are so scared they won’t even send you a query. They’re the type of person you meet on the street and after a few rounds of drinks they finally admit that they’re writing something. Oftentimes with a little bit of chagrin in their tone. When he queries you, he sweats because he’s not sure he used that semicolon in the right place and read the submission guidelines six times exactly to make sure he gets it right. I like this type of writer better than the other because they are so much easier to work with.

Of course, there are individuals in between on the spectrum, but the overwhelming majority of writers falls into one of those two camps. In my experience, we acquisition editors tend to be cynical and often outright grumpy in some cases. Of course, the reason for that is because we receive so many emails from the man writing haiku about aliens and expects us to snap up his book and publish it posthaste. Does that mean that you should be scared of us? Absolutely not. You have nothing to be afraid of if you read the submission guidelines (it doesn’t even have to be six times) and follow them to the best of your ability. Heck, even if your novel isn’t the best thing we’ve ever read, the worst thing you’ll get is a ‘thank you for playing’ letter.

To be honest, I’d rather see a genuine, thought out query with obvious heart in it than a perfect one without any at all. For all our grumping, acquisitions editors are also human. If someone writes a query letter that really catches me or says something that makes me feel for them, I’ll respond. Even if I don’t accept their manuscript, I’ll send something a little more personal than a form letter in response. I’ve also, many times, offered writing tips to people that have potential but have a lot to do to execute it properly.

Getting rejected isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you. The worst thing that could happen to you as a writer is being too afraid to even try. Trust me, you never know who will read your stuff and love it. Just try.

I also heard another interesting thing from that young writer. He just couldn’t believe that 95% of what we get is such utter crap that we don’t even read it. Well, to those of you in that same boat, believe it. And when we say “crap” we mean alien haiku. We don’t say that because we’re snobs (some of us are, I’m sure, but not all). We say that because it’s true. I shared a few examples of queries that I’ve received with this author I’ve been talking about and he was absolutely aghast at the fact that anyone thought some of them were a good idea. Just because you’re afraid of being that 95% shouldn’t’ stop you from trying.

Don’t stop writing just because you’re afraid. Fear is the death of a writer. We’re afraid we’ll never get published; we’re afraid no one will ever read our work; we’re afraid that we’ll never make it. Stop with the fear. Writing is about soul, it’s about story, it’s about love, hate, tears, and stomping your feet like a six-year-old until the manuscript comes out. Don’t write for publication, write because that’s what you were born to do. Write because it’s what moves your soul and gets your blood stirring. Write because you have all these fantastic ideas running around your head just itching to get out. Let them out! Let your imaginary family eat and sleep and have sex and go on grand adventures. In the end, it doesn’t matter if you ever go anywhere with that novel, you’ve written it. Which is far more of an accomplishment than many ever achieve.

Also, recognize, that the only cure for bad writing is to keep doing it. The first novel I wrote was in high school. I don’t know if I have a copy of it anywhere, but it was on an old A: drive floppy last I knew. It was the worst, most cliché thing I could ever have come up with. It had plots that went nowhere, characters that did nothing and was just horrible. It was also more of a “novella” than a novel, now that I look back on it. I was very proud to have written 100 pages when I was fourteen. Now I shake my head and pat that little me on the head and go, “Wow, kid. And you grew up to be an author.” I’ve also got some truly atrocious poetry galloping around my hard drive.

I mention these things because every artist goes through angst. I still have some of my sketchbooks from when I was in high school (was it really almost a decade ago? Yeesh). I occasionally glance through them when I’m working on a particularly stubborn art piece and I chuckle to myself because all my friends and everyone I knew told me I was a fantastic artist. I look at it now and just want to crawl under a table with a book of matches and burn it. However, the point is that I’ve gotten better. Significantly. That fourteen year old girl that couldn’t write (or draw) worth a damn has gotten better because she never stopped doing it.

I’m still not sure how good that girl is at writing, or art, but I do know that I’m better than I was. And that I’m continuing to improve.

POV Characters and Person

First off, I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving! Divertir’s been keeping me busy with a lot of fun and exciting projects so I haven’t had as much time to blog as I’d like. I also had a great time with my family over the holiday and we made the best turkey dinner ever.

A common problem I’ve noticed with many writers is choosing the wrong person for their narrative. Person, of course, being “first person”, “second person” or “third person”; I don’t mean the individual they choose as their POV. Very few people ever write their novels in “second person” unless they’re the choose-your-own-adventure types, and most of those died in the 90’s, if I recall properly. First person and third person are the most common forms of writing a novel in, and both have their benefits and their drawbacks. Personally, I usually favor third person and as we continue discussing, I’ll share why.

First person is a great way to tell a novel from a character’s point of view. If you really want to show the world through their eyes, that’s the way to do it. You can get a very personal, intimate view of the character and of the world and it’s a great tool for telling a story. However, it does have severe limitations. The first and most obvious is that you are limited to divulging only information that the POV character knows. You are also forced to use that character’s voice, exclusively. Which means that if you’re writing a first person POV as a Bumpkin from Backwater, Alabama that you’re going to have to keep that voice the entire time. Without fail. This is true for any character you choose. If your character is a Victorian vampire, then you have to learn how people in Victorian times spoke and emulate that. Which isn’t always easy. You’d also need to be aware of how they thought back then and the history your character would remember since they’d view everything through that lens.

Third person is easier by a significant margin. The third person omnipotent view allows you to give information that the character doesn’t know (such as the exact feelings of another character) and doesn’t require you to change your voice as a writer to match the voice of the character. I’ve found that third person is far, far simpler. That said, when writing dialogue all the rules of first person POV apply.

I’ve noticed that many authors have trouble with keeping POV and not slipping voice. It’s not easy sometimes, too. Which is one of the reasons I suggest strongly that you consider third person for most of your writing. It’s easiest and causes the least conflicts, particularly for new or inexperienced writers. And don’t puff yourself up about being experienced and point fingers at me, I’ve seen ‘experienced’ writers make the same mistakes. Everyone can have this problem and it’s not limited to first person, either. Even in third person I’ve seen experienced writers trip themselves up and have their hundred year old vampires in high school talking like whiny… I’m just going to stop there.

Forgive the late blog post, between trying to get Dragon’s Teeth on the shelves and losing power on the storm that the media is nicknaming “Snowtober” we’ve been running a little busy over in the world of Divertir!

The first thing I’m going to mention is that our second novel is available for purchase from http://www.divertirpublishing.com, amazon.com, Barns and Noble, and many other venues. It’s a fantastic novel that I’m extremely excited to be sharing with all of you. Here’s the back cover blurb:

You can never outrun your past…

After years of war ravage the globe and decimate humanity, civilization is revitalized in the city of New Arcadia, a cybernetic playground where longevity treatments promise near immortality. Detective Cyrus, fond of fedoras and narcotics, is hired by Benji MacDowell, heir-apparent to an eugenics empire, to find MacDowell’s long-lost biological father. Employing his network of shady contacts within the underbelly of the city, Cyrus uncovers a murderous web of corporate corruption and political conspiracy with ties to the old Order, a tyrannical organization whose sole intent was perfecting the next generation of genetically engineered soldiers.

Now Cyrus knows too much and finds himself caught in the cross-hairs of super-soldier assassins while the dark secrets of his past snap at his heels, forcing him to confront the truth he’s been running from… and discover his own terrifying purpose.

The novel is a futuristic mystery that’s rife with pulse-pounding excitement and a hard-hitting emotional punch. Suzanne van Rooyen, the author, has been a wonderful partner through all of this and her writing is just superb. I suggest you all check out her website, http://suzannevanrooyen.com , and then head on over to http://www.divertirpublishing.com to pick up your copy today! You won’t regret it.

***

I’ve decided to quasi-participate in NaNoWriMo. By quasi, I mean I’ll write as much as possible given my usual crazy, but I can’t promise a novel will be finished. Hopefully, though, this’ll slaughter the writer’s block I’ve been facing. I know that NaNoWriMo can work – Dragon’s Teeth is actually a NaNoWriMo book – but my problem has been that I’ve run into kinks in the plot that need fixing and I’ve run out of ideas how.

That said, I know that after I finish writing this book, if I finish it in November, it’ll need a lot of work. While I definitely believe it is possible to put 50k words to paper in that time frame, the question becomes whether they’re 50k words worth keeping. If nothing else, they’ll need serious editing. But even if they do, I’d like to get things to paper because I haven’t written anything worthwhile in almost a year and that’s become a problem for me.

I guess the upside is that it’ll get me motivated to write again – being an editor has had me focused on other people’s writing rather than my own (not a bad thing!) and has kind of gotten me stuck in the process. I just need to get it going again and then, maybe, I’ll be able to get things flowing more fluidly.

I definitely hope so!

***

The last segment I have for this evening is regarding critique. It seems that a lot of people either don’t know what critique is, or mistake critique and editing. Critique asks questions (What did you mean here? What were you thinking? Why are there aliens?!) whereas editing starts involving grammar. If you know the various types of editing (developmental, substantive, mechanical) then consider the critique to be a developmental “edit”. You address themes, large problems, plot holes, etc. – leave word choice and grammar out of it.

However, what a critique is, isn’t the only problem. I’ve encountered many writers that are hugely defensive of their work and even when they ask for a critique they don’t really want one. While I can understand and respect a writer’s attachment to their baby, it’s a good idea to keep your mind open. You don’t have to agree with what people are saying. Not at all. You don’t have to like it, either. But that said I think the key is to take it all with a grain of salt. Be polite, be respectful, be professional about it. It’s kind of a smile and nod and then do what you want kind of situation.

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